Made some kind of major decisions. I had bought a new tractor back end of the year. So I could feed my horses hay and mow weeds. Then I decided one of the focuses of this year to be be more independent with food sources. So now I have a tiller for the tractor. Big organic garden. So the inner critic takes over why are you spending this money do you think you can do this. So that is what I asked the cards this morning.

This is my most favorite card, "are you enacting your sacred trust"? That has become my intent and purpose, to heal this land that I sit on and make it a place of love and nurturing. Hopefully feeding the body and the soul. Let me be the conduit through which the Earth Mother reaches up and the Upper World flows down.

I have a pendant of red jasper. A protective stone, specially of things in the night. It came to me as a Hawk Spirit (haunted is the word they used) servitor pendant. But is has a rather fragile hook and the other day it allowed the stone part to come off. I was able to re-attache it. Had thought about replacing it. But, realized I needed to just pay attention to it and not let it become stretched or bent. Protect it from getting caught and snagged. Much like we do sometimes in everyday life. Also helps me remember how tenuous our "connection" can be to life, Spirit, our true selves. If we are not attentive and protective, given to just letting go of our awareness, we can become "disconnected". So will keep the "little weak connector", realizing how strong it's connection can be.

Finally some different cards. I guess I haven't been getting the message because I kept pulling the same cards.Today I asked about something different. The deck was so excited it sent me two cards. It is pretty clear I need to get rid of some old stuff but need to do it with much love. We all need to do new year cleaning, but I have an inordinate amount. Time to do taxes, clean closets, cabinets, desk drawers all bringing memories and happy/sad thoughts. But like the hummingbird, if I hold it in sweet love it can be good to shed old itchy stuff and become the new person that can be.

This interesting wood piece has been in the Medicine Wheel since it was formed. Some could say it was a cross or maybe an angel. I see it as a phoenix or dragon. Coming up from the Earth, to reform this place, this land. Saw the Hawk yesterday on the way into town. Sitting on a sign, huge, right next to the road. Watching, seeing everything that passed. It was foggy and it was if It was warning "be careful or take care on your journey". And not just the trip into town. We need to take care on this journey we are on; care to pay attention, not to harm, heal ourselves and others, heal the earth. I have been reading and found this one thought that kind of brought me up. We should be sure that it is "true" for self before we proclaim it is. If we don't we can set others on the wrong path. Sometimes in our enthusiasm for new idea we proclaim it as our truth before we know. Too many "truths" can be confusing.

No cards this morning. But a picture. As I walk back and forth to the barn each morning I sometime get lost in thought. I know I probably miss a lot of things by doing that. But as I came back this morning I was thinking about the studies that I have been doing and how I have been working out some anger issues. I realized that a lot of the deep seated anger is gone, replaced by unfounded frustration. Realizing that just "being" is enough sometimes. We don't have to move and shake to receive gifts of Spirit. I looked down and saw the stone on the left. It was sitting up on it's tip. I thought what a nice stone, but kept on walking. It was as if it shouted "Hey, take another look!". So I went back and picked it up and it felt like a "gift". I continued on thinking that was nice, when the stone on the right shouted I mean shouted "Me too!". It is square and kind of crusty (like Jim) the other is round and plump (like me). So they joined another stone I had found in the road a while back. It may be hard to see but it is heart shaped. They join the Earth Healing wand and the Group of Nine. Together perhaps we will heal the Earth. But what gifts! Slowly transforming my anger to healing actions.

This morning walking, I thought I had startled the Hawk. It flew past on my right calling out. I felt regret for not noticing it sooner. As I flowed it's flight it landed in a tree with another Hawk. Well I lost it right there. The dogs didn't know what to do with me. I had called this land "Land of Two Hawks" once before and this is why. After I recovered and fed my kitties and the horses I headed back. Course they were gone, but what a gift, Sun coming up and two Hawks in a tree. So I was curious as to what card I might pull today. And heerree it is!

Soul Retrieval

I feel I am getting it back a little at a time. I relive the loss and pull from it the love and the meaning. The Hawks just reminded me that it is possible to put the pieces back together. So I sent them the Healing Song.

Drew this card this morning before my walk and the Sun was just coming up. Have been smoking my Prayer Pipe every day since December 3rd. So I know that Pachamama loves me. I have been receiving guidance. But the last couple of days had kind of lost focus. So on the way back to the house, saying hello to the Sun some new words came to me for "the Healing Song", the one I sang at the Wheel Ceremony.
"Here in this place, let us heal the Earth. This be our Prayer, this be our Prayer.
Here in this place, let us heal the Waters. This be our Prayer, this be our Prayer.
Here in this place, let us heal the Spirit. This be our Prayer, this be our Prayer.
Here in this place, sending out the Love. This be our Prayer, this be our Prayer."
Sooo Love right back at you Pachamama.