The sun comes up every morning. The mystery of a new day. What it offers depends on our choices. Fall is here, time to prepare for Winter. Again choices. The following is a story of choices and the result. Hope it is read with favor.

I got back from my Mom's service and was still kind of at loose ends. Been journaling and trying to figure out where to go next.  I had been thinking for a long time to pass my pipe (channupa) on to someone. The Lakota feel the pipe is very sacred and should not necessarily be in the hands of "white eyes". I always revered it and carried it on 2 of my vision quests. So I order sage and such from this lady in SD that is a member of the Lakota Nation. She also supports prison ministry (kind of uncomfortable with that term) for Native inmates. I asked and she accepted the offer to receive the pipe. Got it sent yesterday.


Second part of the story I made the decision to "start letting go". And, the next thing that came into my thought was the drums. Can't bring myself to go to the drum circle, and it is not necessarily because of who leads it. I realized there was something wrong with that thinking. If I was to move forward I needed to mover forward. So I messaged MH on face book and offered him some of my drums. I called them my "traveling drums" because they were the ones I took to Camp Good Grief and all. He accepted the offer. I met him yesterday in the YMCA parking lot of all places. He is kind of high energy for me but not a bad person. I think he has learned somethings since the first drum circle. He realizes more that we all march to the beat of our own drum.;-) Who know now maybe I can go to the drum circles.

What I noticed most from all this was that I felt a very slight weight lifted. I walked a little straighter and felt a little less pain. This physical letting go had manifested an emotional letting go. I keep the spirit drums, I have the ceremonial pipe I made. But, I did a "Jim" thing, I gave something of value to someone else without a second thought about "what is in it for me". I have come to realize that is very freeing. I gave gifts a lot of gifts before, freely and with love. But somewhere in the back of my ego I looked for that boost of my ego. Not sure if I explained it very well but it was a very different experience than I have every had before.

Oh I am working on a new blog spot. It will be more stories and poems. Working on the writing, not so deeply personal. That is other than what life does to me to make me want to write what I write. ;-) Think the address is weaverwoman46.blogspot.com?

This past weekend we went to say good bye to my Mom for the last time. Many memories, mostly good. This is the pasture behind what is now my brother's house. It was my grand parents house first. My brother and I spent many days rambling up and down the "hills and hollers". The season is noticeably changing there.

Here are 5 generations. Had hoped that my Mom could have been there too. But as someone said, "she is sitting with the angels (more likely Jim). But then who is to say he isn't an angel too. My Dad has always been a judgemental soul, but my Mom was always the buffer. Now we/he must go on alone together. Not sure how that will work.

So much lost but much that can be gained. Our lives go on. Be well and love much.

Can we love enough to heal the hurt, replace the hate, clear the air and water. We look for the good in everything and love unconditionally. I have read that unconditional love is not emotion but a consciousness. Seeing the light and dark in all things but still being able to not judge. We ask for no preconceived notions of how things should be, but present hopefully clear ideas and have them received with the intent that they were presented. If anyone reads this and it makes sense to them, please let me know.

Go into the western sun vortex for insight, die in it's heat and be reborn in the rising in the East. What a interesting last few days. So many things swirling around trying to deal with the important, sort out the chafe. Seems like a lot of chafe. Am I missing the important stuff? I like this picture, because it reminds me that even though the West is a place of going within, a dark inner place of introspection. It also shines a light on the those things that we might think are too dark to see.

I went West for my high school reunion. There were 25 students that actually graduated that night in May long ago. Of those 25, we 14 showed up. Of those 25, 8 have crossed over. They are to have another reunion in 5 years. Not sure I will go, have released the need to be there. Thought I could re-capture a connection, was able to say hello to a couple I had missed. But don't feel the need to go back. Someone joked we might need to have one sooner.

There were 2 Carols in our class, and both of them were there. Of the 5 James's in our class, 3 were there. My 2 bus mates were there, we road the bus together everyday from first grade till we graduated. There good memories, but that is all they are memories and not necessarily one that come up often. So introspection, death re-birth go into the West and take a look.

I put this on the Star Wheel page on facebook. The words so said what I wanted to say and be.
Words to ponder...

Wherever I lay my eyes, may hope be revived and consciousness settle in.
Wherever I lay my hand, may life generous and abundant circulate anew.
Wherever I go, may happiness come flooding.
Wherever I am seated, may truth show through.
Wherever I reside, may there be Light!
by Bashistya Shivananta
A baby is coming soon, her pigtails may be dark or like this little one blond. I hold the hope she will bring some light to us all. To all a good Wednesday.

Feel like going into a cave and hiding out? How about this one. Saw this picture and have started to visualize in my mind sitting at it's entrance looking out. That is the good thing about this cave,  you can sit at the entrance and see a world of beauty, or go deeper within and see a different beauty; that of you spirit a soul part of you. I have a message, a very small message but one of love and peace and very simple. I am slowly finding my voice, so far just written words. Maybe that is enough.

The days are getting shorter. The dogs still get up at 6 but the sun doesn't till more like 7:30. Walking to the barn to feed the cats in the dark can be a sketchy proposition.

Have been traveling some on the road and in my mind. Will tell you more about my reunion another blog. But my Mom is not well. She is in Hospice care now in a nursing home. She has her feet in both worlds now. Talking of and to her brother and sister that is no longer here. She has no pain now but does not eat or converse. So I talk to her through Spirit and I feel she is OK. I try talking to Jim, sometimes he listens and sometime he doesn't. ;-) But it is a road that we all must travel and one that is not so scary anymore.

Was doing pipe last evening on the front step. I carry my phone everywhere in case my brother calls. But I could clearly hear Spirit say "take the picture". Didn't realize what was there until I downloaded it, The red orbs the tiny gold one on the tree branch and the rays coming off the opening into the vortex. So much there to ponder, into the West introspection, goals, death, rebirth. I know I am being told to "get on with it". The answers are there, just have to be present.