This is our lane, if you look close you can see the barn off to the right. I walk this lane every morning to go feed the cats. It is 6:30 AM and already getting hot. But the real story this morning is the lane itself. Jim and I would walk this lane together many times. He jokingly would say "I walk Donna and the dogs".Trying to get me in "shape". According to the stress test I guess I am not in too bad a shape. Again I digress. The lane, Jim had crushed concrete (not real environmentally sound I guess) put down, because when it does rain there are some low spots that could mess you up. He wanted a "firm" foundation for our trips in and out. We didn't get the stuff spread real evenly in places as you can see. The cool thing about this is the grass is starting to come back and grow over the thinner parts and in the heavier areas grass is making inroads too. The thing with crushed concrete is they crushed everything with it; nails re-bar, even PVC pipe. So now on my morning walks I find and pick up that wire and nails that comes to the surface and lies in wait for some unsuspecting tire. Oh and mowing is fun. Have to raise the mower a little or you send a shower of rock every where.

So like my lane and life in general. Watch out for the "nails that lay in wait" and stay above the "rocks that can be slung". Be discerning of your thoughts don't sling to many rocks and nails at those unsuspecting.  The path you walk may be challenging, but if done peaceful, high above the rocks the way "it is good". So on this hot hot Saturday, watch out for rocks and rusty wire. ;-)

This is Parker my gaurdian dog. We started him on some injections for arthritis in his back "knees". I got to thinking about it and my dogs could be considered my alter egos. Parker with his arthritis, which I some time have to act up. Luna her thyroid sometimes kind of "psycho" self. Then there is the crumudgeon Owen, and his grouchy out look on things. And Buckshot, fun loving full of life, would like to be more like him more of the time.

I can't remember who I told and who I didn't but I had a stress test this morning. Everything was fine I think will get the final word from the Doc. Was able to do a level above my age group on the test so feel like I am physically ok. So probably stress or maybe the "spirit heart" needs mending. Either way I will have a better weekend knowing that things look ok.

When I can, I try to add a picture to make things more interesting. I know I am a more visual kind of person. I am learning the signatures and essences of animals, hoping they can help me through some things. Came across this for Turtle, which is associated with Mother Earth in many Indigenous belief systems. There is a promise from Turtle that it will "feed my spirit and clothe my heart". We all can read different meaning into to this. From my perspective I see Mother Earth as an ally not an enemy, to be subdued and conquered. With hope that She protects the heart from "envy, jealousy and unconsciousness of others". So my wish for all of us is to protected and grounded by the earth. Hope all have a thrilling Thursday.

These are some wildflowers that were seeded this Spring. Had just about given up that any of the 4 big bags of seed that were sown would come up. But we had some good rain at the right time. And though it is getting hot and humid, we did have a fairly decent Spring weather. So these and several other variety of wildflowers peek up at you as you walk along the lane to the barn. Ideas and creation is a lot like these wildflowers. You sow the ideas, create the thoughts, images and hope they fall on fertile ground. Just when you think that maybe they aren't going to come to fruition, you are surprised by the "blooms". Just imagine if I had mowed along the fence because the "weeds" were taking over I would have destroyed the flowers as well. The lesson here? Hold the belief that your creation will take root and flower, even if it does come up among the weeds.

Got some much needed rain. Took the bees some breakfast, even though hadn't finished all of yesterday's. All the "forager, scouter bees" were sitting huddled on the door step to the hive. They seemed to be waiting for the skies to clear. They maybe waiting for awhile, there is 50% chance of rain again today. Looks like we might get some. "Rainy days and Mondays get me down". That was a Mama's and Papa's song. Don't let things get you down. Happy Monday.

This is a French Druid Triad by Francois Bourillon. So look into the smoke of the smudge and see what you see.
"When you die, only three thing will remain of you, since you will abandon all material things on the threshold of the Otherworld; what you have taught to others, what you have created with you hands, and how much love you have spread. So learn more and more in order to teach wise, long-lasting values. Work more and more to leave to the world things of great beauty. And Love, love, love people around you for the light of love heals everything". Sweet Sunday to all.

How sweet a picture, how vulnerable it seems. What comes to my mind is unconditional love and caring. But this morning had a dream that made me incredibly sad. Not that that is a bad thing, it brought me to review some things in my personal journal. More tears and 3 napkins later I had found entries that helped and brought me back to some balance. The first one being...
Come sit with me for awhile, in this place so alone.
Come sit with me for awhile, before you have to travel on.
We all need to feel a touch, or hear a loving word.
We all need to feel a part, of this new and changing world.

The Sun comes up over Dream Mountain.
The miracle of another day.
I tried to sing a sad song, but had forgotten the words.
So sang a healing song, to take the pain away.
From a Heart place of simplistic song,
One that doesn't always follow the rules.
Working through a dark place to one of renewal.
The words come while walking through a dense cloud of grief.
But the Sun comes up over Dream Mountain,
And a healing song is sung.

And on more recent June 9...
We need to go down to the water.
See what we can see.
Go down to the water.
Feel what we can feel.
All this to say it is OK to feel sad, but at the same time feel love and hope. Work through that sadness to a better place. Persevere and move on through. Friday Love to All.

Artemis, the archaic mistress of animals, probably dates back to Paleolithic times. What I find interesting about her, she is fiercely individualistic and independent. Though she is fierce in her demeanor she is a soothing healer, protector of births, alleviating the suffering of women in childbirth. She is a symbol of female independence. Also she reminds us of the value of solitude and the importance of wild, unprotected places. Another lesson she brings is that those frightening places that bring healing even through fear. There is a difference between loneliness and solitude.

The world energy is moving more toward the feminine, and not the necessarily the "feminists" that have positions of power. The energy I believe is more the feminine energy of Artemis, the energy that perseveres through the pain of childbirth, the energy that nurtures and heals the Earth, the energy the stands up and supports all people all living creatures everywhere; not just those causes that are popular or news worthy.  I can feeeell the energy changing can you?!

For my classes in Santa Fe we have and have had conference calls. It keeps us connected when we are apart. We all have ways of being connected when we are apart not just family and friends on this plane of existence, but those that have crossed over. Whether it be through memories or dreams or actual encounters that sometimes happen. Connection can mean many things; an understanding of a person's/or group's intention or purpose. Connection can mean a feeling that brings peace and calm, not needing words. The reason for this connection stuff? Putting into words some of the thoughts that have been coming to me. Sometimes we over use words like love, connection, and commitment. Sometimes we just need to take those often used words and pull them out and look at them. Break them down and see if what we use them for are valid. Have had family here this week, and realize I finally am able to move through that experience without losing my "connection" to the path I have set myself on. It brings a lot of "peace and calm". Thankful Friday.

As I read a friend's blog I realize that many times those of like minds "flow" in the same direction. I have of late been working at finding my "authentic voice". I have been told that I need to be persistent. For me at this time of the Summer Solstice is a time of great change and should stay true to my intent and purpose. Also I need to follow my guidance and not be swayed by what others might want me to do. We all should do that. Many times when we make a decision to do something only to have it ring hallow in meaning and feeling, come to realize it was not really our decision but what another has put into our consciousness. So be persistent in your path, listen to others ideas, but in the end know that only you can decide what is right for you.

Another thought. I have talked and heard a lot lately about being in balance. Was reminded of that again this morning. It is a comfort to know that we can "be there for others" but don't have to buy into their "stuff". Be gentle with yourself and even them, but be firm in "holding your ground" in unconditional love. The road doesn't have to narrow or winding if you hold yourself and others in love. Hope all have a loving Tuesday.

Today is is "this and that". You can barely see my new friend, on the end of the stick. The stick is there so that little bugs and skinks and lizards can get a drink without drowning.  A little frog is almost the same color as the wood. When I first saw him and tried to take a picture he plopped in and hid under the stick. This is Bucky's pool, when he gets hot and is running around he will jump in cool off and take off again. So surprised this little guy or gal hangs around. Bees and frogs maybe the land is getting back in balance. Lot of rain of late which is good, but sure makes the grass grow fast.

Talking about balance, heard an interesting concept the other day. For some of us that are into the "whoo whoo" stuff as Jim would call it, our purpose or job is not to get out and be an activist but more to be present and hold a balance. In the coming days I think we are going to see a lot of things "out of balance". We see and hear of people saying doing very out of balance things, possibly because of  such a change in the energy they don't understand. There is such fear that a lot take in and put out. So the balance folks are not to give in to that fear, but hold the balance and hopefully be able to communicate that understanding to others. So I keep the bees, keep the land and provide a home for the little frog, and what fear I might feel at times send it through the door to heaven with love. Blessed Sunday.

Into the West, as you can tell it is still winter in this picture. Kind of how I feel sometimes. When Jim's brother and sisters were leaving after his memorial service, his brother said I needed to "talk it out". And I have some. But how do you talk out 46 years of life with someone, with others. I tried it on face book with thoughts and pictures, helped a little but it seemed so trivial there. You couldn't really put your deepest sometimes darkest thoughts there. Though some do, I can't. Went to a support group that helped but the leader left for another position and that no longer exists. I have great and wonderful friends but they have lives and problems and some things I can't share even with them. I talk to Jim a lot and he sometimes answers. Have been paying more attention to my dreams and putting in my journal. I told my daughter when I am gone she can read it then "burn" it. So I reeeaally talk it out in my journal. And here, please be patient and understand what I put on this blog is really me talking to myself. With the hopes that who reads this will "hear" it and understand.

I read on the Internet (I no longer watch TV) that this one person feels we should not get married before we are 25 years old. Jim and I were 19. I know a 25 year old that will probably not be mature at 50, no judgement just an observation. So wake up people take responsibility for you own life, don't use what someone else said as a reason for your shortcomings. Wow now I am angry too. It is just that on June 14 it would have been 48 years that we were married. So what do I do? Work it out and "talk it out". (Did have a good conversation with my sister-in-law last evening). Happy Tuesday.

Weary weary today, so let's go to the river. This is the Flint at Sprewell Bluff. We cast crystals there to renew and heal. The hope is to do this in several rivers this summer. Too many projects? Learning new things, finishing old things. This morning all I want to do is sit. We got a lot of recycling done, now I can walk through the laundry room without stumbling over glass and plastic cans and bottles. Got the bees situated, the bottom board is now correct. Got the grass all mowed only to need it again soon.

So the point of today's thoughts not sure. Don't get so busy that we fail to see the beauty of our lives? Busy work so that we don't look at what is really going on with us? As I walk to the barn in the morning I will some times sing this healing song I found. But this morning I was thinking of Jim and the song that came was...."You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when sky's are grey. You'll never know Dear how much I love You. Please don't take my sunshine away". So maybe I am just to "sit" and fill the hole and renew and heal. Good Monday!

Interesting week. Our soon to be 19 year old grandson has been staying with me for this week. He leaves on June 19 I think for the Air Force. He has been helping his Granny with some things I just couldn't seem to get off the ground by myself. One was some recycling. Though I didn't put it in the landfill, it had been setting on my back porch and the corner of the kitchen for sometime. Not a heavy job, just one that I couldn't seem to get myself to do. So we got it collected and taken off to the recycle place.

Which brings me to a thought. Life is messy. Even when you are trying to do something for the environment it requires dealing with messy stuff. And just living life requires dealing with messy stuff. We walk a fine line between our higher selves and the human aspect of our lives. As I recycle and clear items from my past, I realize that some of it is hard to let go of. There is a thought that we should clear our space and life of those things that do not serve our higher self. Being a Cancer and pack rat I can see everything as sacred and use it in an altar and ceremony of some kind. My concern is if I get rid of stuff too quickly I will lose some very important part of my higher self. Like I said "life is messy".