Spider Woman weaver of the web of life. Many Native American people honor her for many gifts that she gives them. She is a reminder that good comes from everywhere. Even the lowly spider, sometimes dismissed as irrelevant, has the power to create and teach. I have the opportunity to teach some lessons of love today. We can go through hard times and hard lessons. But, we can always do so with unconditional love.

Persephone is at work again. Making me look at the "dark things". They rattle around in my head, distract my focus, and work on my joints. ;-) I have been told that my knee problems are from old held hurts. So maybe Persephone is right, get in there face that what terrifies me and send it on to the universe.

She sends me Lilith to challenge me to look upon my dark side and incorporate it into my wholeness so that great beauty can blossom forth. That is the "work" everyday. That is the work for today, this moment.

This is White Shell Woman, creator of the Navajo people and gave them their home, gift of corn and other food bearing plants. She gave them the gifts of animals, rain and beautiful flowers. With the Sun, she is the mother of Killer-of-Enemies and Child-of -the-Water, the dual protectors of the People from their enemies. She is said to be a younger version of Changing Woman also a benevolent figure who also brings abundance.

Both bringing harmony, wisdom of the nature of things, understanding the cycles of birth and death. I get lost in the energy of these pictures. Getting back on the path, and feeling my place in the whole scheme of things.

Here I am back at the cards again. I really like Susan Boulet's work. So soon she was gone. But she has quite a body of work. That in it's self is a lesson, not so much the time we have but how we use it. Anyway this is from her Goddess paintings.

Persephone. Her myth exemplifies the cycles of nature, for when she is underground plants do not bloom. When she returns to earth, spring arrives. She is also goddess of the soul for it is in the underworld(the unconscious) that soul is formed. She is said to be the goddess of a dark uncomfortable wisdom, a goddess of dark and frightening power. Persephone represents the ability to rule over the aspects of ourselves that are terrifying in the extreme.

So now that it is Spring and Persephone is among us she comes to me in the card I drew. Sometimes my thoughts do scare me. Why would I think such a thing?! Of late perhaps that is what has been at work with me. Persephone appeared today to let me know that we all have dark sides, dark thoughts but they don't have to be the focus of our lives. Though everyday isn't necessarily sweetness and light, we have more good in us than those dark thoughts and they don't have to rule.

Rain blessed rain. May have to go buy a thousand or two tiny umbrellas for the bees. Clearing later this morning I think.

Had dinner with my neighbors the other night. One of the dinner guests who is truly remarkable, keeps bees also. We had a very informative conversation. When I asked him where he bought his bees, he said "oh I don't buy bees, I just collect them from trees and buildings and such". He has six hives and is definitely not "up tight" about their care. I want to be like him. He has offered to let me come see his operation. I feel he has more of the information I need.

We are always having teachers appear when we need them. We just need to pay attention. Like I have said before, we shouldn't get ahead of our guidance. Which I tend to do sometimes.

I have dandelions just like this in my yard. Have yet to see one of the honey bees on them. Today I hope most of them stayed in where it is dry. I voiced my concern to some of the other beekeepers in the group about finding so many dead be on the ground around the hive. But they said we didn't know how many of our bees were older (worker bees only live a few weeks). The hope is that they are creating more workers to take their place. I have become so wrapped up in the process of beekeeping that perhaps I have lost site of the fact the bees know what they are doing. Anyway I found this poem in on of the books. They know better the we.

Home at fall of eve the bees come winging; happy is their flight and happier their singing.
As the night draws closer and the light grows faint, darker still their air-lines 'cross the skies they paint.
Peace is all about them; a calm and healing peace fills the mind and brings the soul release.
Nothing now can trouble, nothing can distress, here, where bees are humming songs of happiness.
                                                                                             Josephine Morse

A friend of mine always closes her e-mails with "Walk in Beauty". And though this is quite a beautiful woman, her beauty is "more than skin deep". Her serene peaceful appearance helps you feel there are many kinds of beauty. We are beautiful parts of Creator. If we would just remember this in everyday life and what it brings. I read this over and over and hope with each new day I will be able to "walk in beauty".

So much for waiting. I felt the need to check on the queen. So I did. She had already gotten out of her little box. In fact there were 3 workers in the box tidying up. Looks like they are making a home. They sure are taking the sugar water. Going today to try to find some plants already in bloom they might like. I planted seeds but it is going to be some time before they are ready.

Garden is up weeded some yesterday. It is grass that is going to be a problem. Done a lot of mowing. The whole time I am doing this I seem to think of Jim. "Is this the way he would do it"?  "Would he think this is OK"? But, I do it the only way I can. Last night sitting in the yard it was so peaceful the yard and pasture looked nice, the air was soft and quiet, the queen was safe and being taken care of, could have stayed in that moment forever.

So we can meditate, dream, project our positive energy or whatever, but we also have to take action to do some small thing to improve the world. I feel the bees are my next teacher of how to do that. Hope all who read this can find a "small thing" to give them that feeling as well.

Day two and a half. When I put the queen in it was Saturday around 2:30 PM. All the gurus say to give them 3 days to eat their way out of the cage with the help of the workers eating their way in. Patience is so hard. So to give them the full 3 days will wait till tomorrow afternoon. They have been eating up a storm, and flying in and out. Hope the scouts are finding some good stuff for them. There are blackberries blooming, which they are supposed to like. Hope there are others things they can find. I know they have been taking in the syrup, you can see the bubbles come up in the jar, averaging around 32 ounces a day. You are only supposed to have to supplement until they find other sources and they loose interest.So we will see.

I feel a very real responsibility to them but also a connection. I visit often just to make sure they are still there. They are curious but not aggressive. Doing this is very real, basic, no drama. What I need to do. Another thing I need to do is probably get off facebook. I had looked to it to help with my process of moving on. It seems it has only become a kind of addiction, not helping the true problem. The bees have grounded me in a way. Now if I can just bring myself to pull the plug on facebook.

Isn't this just a hoot!? We were to pick up our bees this morning at 10 out at Chehaw. About 10 after we found out the the guys that went to get the bees had even left Moultrie yet. They were going to get the bees but there others ahead of them. There was over 300 bee package orders that were being prepared. So I went to the bicycle shop to wait. They called a little before 1 that they were on their way. When the little red truck with all the bees in the back pulled in there were loose bees flying over the truck. He said when he slowed down or had to stop they would raise up, when he started off again they would duck down between the boxes.
So I get my box of bees. Three pounds of bees(approx. 3500) and a queen. I had a couple of strays as well in the car with me. But their signature was so sweet. They finally congregated in the back window and we headed home. The queen is to go in the hive first. She is in a little cage like with fondant of all things plugging her escape route. She and the worker bees are supposed to eat the fondant so she can get out.  But you remove a little cork and hang her on the center frame.Then you literally "pour" the bees in. I actually did this all by myself and as far as I could tell did not squash a single bee. So everybody is in the hive. In 3 days I will check and if the queen hasn't got out of her box, I will help her.

Here is the thing about dreams. I read that all dreams are important because it is you working through something. That is probably true. Before Jim passed I used to dream sometimes about his parents and their house and things being like before Jim and I were married. Now I dream sometimes of Jim and it is if he is still here but I know he isn't. Weird. The last few night it is as if he is moving around the edges of my dreams. Not really in them, but I know he is there. A comfort in a way, I guess helping me to work through this "stuff". So I guess "dream on!".

Another thing I need to add about Saturday's class, was the bees. In the afternoon we went to visit the bees. Chehaw has two active hives and they added more Saturday. We were told when we went out, 1. don't stand in their "flyway", 2. don't breath through you mouth they will think you are a bear, 3. stay calm, no fast quick movements. So what is the first thing most of us did (after we got our "bee hats" on?) we stood in their fly way. It had stopped raining but one of the volunteers said that they would probably be less active since the sun wasn't real bright. Oh, and one of the other most valuable piece of equipment next to your bee hat is the smoker. Don't have to use much smoke but it acts a calmer of bees. Anyway here are all these newbies kind of crowded up around the hive listening intently to the information, none of us paying attention to the fly way. Not a lot but curious bees flying around our heads, landing on our hats, and shoulders and arms. And the buzzing all around. The volunteer guy looks up and says "Wow look at you all". From there on we were like part of the hive. I can't really describe it, it was like you are almost in another dimension. You heard what the guy was saying but you also heard the buzzing and felt the connection to the bees. I really at this point don't care if I get a drop of honey, I just want that feeling again.

Yesterday (Saturday) I went to my beekeeping class. How I got there was all very synchronistic. Just wasn't on happen stance. For sometime even before Jim's death I had been kind of drawn to bees. But I don't think cows and bees would have mixed very well. Anyway the class, was very good. It was an interesting group of people. Perhaps the most interesting was a man that reminded me of my brother. He was a meat cutter by trade and not one you would think of as a beekeeper. But when he talked about his bees and how he came to be a keeper ( that description in relation to bees is kind of miss leading, bees do not necessarily let you keep them, they just decide amongst themselves if they like your accommodations well enough to stay). Anyway this guy almost became poetic in his words and the expression of a love for bees. There were others there that gave the same impression, but he seemed "to get it" in a way that you could understand. So he is my "beekeeper hero".